a draft of a Profile Essay in APA Style format

the concept of a dominant impression

dialogue and descriptive details into a Profile Essay

As you draft the essay, remember what you have learned in
the previous weeks about the writing process, developing your ideas,
organization, and descriptive details. Use this knowledge to write a profile
essay that creates a clear picture of who your subject is, and why. To help
with this process, you will review the concept of a dominant impression,
profile essay essentials, and descriptive details, and you will learn about
incorporating dialogue into your writing.

Below is the teachers comments to the prewriting and outline you completed last week:

Focusing on John should work well for the essay,and I am looking forward to learning more about him. The thesis statement is in need of revision. It should clearly mention John and what the profile will work to show readers about him (caring, loving, strong, etc.). In its current form, it focuses on what John did rather than who he is. An example of a strong thesis statement can be found in the example essay; it reads: While Mary faced many challenges in her life, her determined spirit and loving heart led her through to peace. Note how in the example there is an emphasis on the profiled individual and her key traits, which the essay would then work to “show” readers. Your thesis statement should function in the same general way. From here, the essay should work to show readers how John possesses the stated traits, emphasizing who he is as a unique individual and why. Based on the plan, there is a lot emphasize on what happened and why John did; instead, the empahsis should be on who he is (his thoughts, emotions, appearance, words, and actions). As you draft the essay, be sure to focus more on the individual (his thoughts, emotions, appearance, ideas, words, etc.) than narrating the events. The profile is quite different from a narrative, so its primary goal is not to detail an experience; rather, its primary goal is to “show” readers something about the individual by revisiting an experience. So, it’s more about working to “show” readers, for example, that an individual is strong, brave, loving, and so on and using the experience as a vehicle to do this. So, focus less on the events or telling readers about an experience. These are important, but they are secondary to the primary goal: to “show” readers who the person is and why, as well as what is important to him or her and why. For example, if I were to write about a
firefighter, and my goal is to “show” readers that he is brave and determined
because helping others is important to him. I would not focus (emphasize)
a house engulfed in flames, emphasizing the scene and actions of the others. I
wouldn’t emphasize background information about where the firefighter trained
or what he does with his family. Rather, I would use that as a backdrop, and
instead, I would focus on the firefighter’s thoughts, emotions, and actions
during the fire/rescue in an effort to show readers, for example, that despite
the intense stress (and sometimes fear) he feels during those moments, he
allows he determination to help others and bravery to take over because being
there for others in need is what matters most to him. Your essay
should use the events (experience) in the same basic way. As you continue
to work on the assignment, please let me know if you have any questions or need

I believe you can go back to the previous question you completed to get the outline and prewriting you completed.

Your essay must do the following:

  • Create a vivid depiction of the individual
  • Focus on a short period of time that highlights the trait(s) that you wish to focus on
  • Incorporate strong, vivid descriptions and examples, including dialogue
  • Show instead of tell

Your essay must include the following:

  • An introduction with a hook and strong thesis statement
  • Developed body paragraphs with strong topic sentences and concluding sentences
  • A word count of 1,000 words, at a minimum (excludes cover page